“Why Can’t I Fall in Love?”, a book by Shmuley Boteach, touches upon many aspects of dating and finding one’s match.  I section I find very interesting is on selflessness and falling in love.  Boteach discusses how they go hand in hand.  What is especially of note is his exercises in being selfless that prepare you to fall in love and bee in a healthy relationship.  Some highlights are “Keep your work in perspective…Donate your time, not just your money…talk with your cabdriver…visit your grandmother…lend an ear.”

The first one is something I have perviously discussed.  If you are married to your job, you will not have time or energy for a relationship that could lead to a real marriage.  Make sure your job is not your entire life if you are looking to have more.

Donating your time will prepare you for giving to your partner in a relationship.  Visiting your grandparent or someone else’s grandparent will also create a habit of giving.  Gestures of time or emotion are often more appreciate than purchased gifts.

Talking with a cabdriver, or in Cleveland more likely a waitress or cashier, reminds you of the value of every human being.  This will help put you in the right mindset to value your partner as more than just a physical creature.

Listening is the last of the highlights.  I’ll say it here and I will probably say it again…no relationship if perfect.  If you are looking for a relationship in which there is no disagreement, you are not being realistic.  A good relationship should not be measured by whether or not you disagree/argue/fight, but how you do it.  In the end listening is key to communicating and communication is key to a healthy relationship.

So, if what you have been doing to try to find your match is not working, try something new.